"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."

"The quest for philosophy's beginning is idle, for everywhere in all beginnings we find only the crude, the unformed, the empty, and the ugly. What matters in all things is the higher levels."

"Without music, life would be a mistake."

"Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine."

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

"They punish you for all your virtues. They forgive you entirely--your mistakes."

"Always look on the bright side of life."

"We are obliged to respect, defend and maintain the common bonds of union and fellowship that exist among all members of the human race."

"The meanest, most contemptible kind of praise is that which first speaks well of a man, and then qualifies it with a 'but'."

"By their own follies they perished, the fools."

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."

"If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick."