"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."

"I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left."

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."

"Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!"

"Knowledge, if it does not determine action, is dead to us."

"A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself."

"You will make all kinds of mistakes but as long as you are generous and true and fierce you cannot hurt the world, or even seriously distress her."

"Live as though Christ died yesterday, rose from the grave today, and is coming back tomorrow."

"I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget."